Food

The weather is almost Summer-like. Bright sunshine and clear blue sky for a week now which make it frustrating because I really want go out for a walk. Yesterday I sat in the garden  and the sun was really hot. The pest next door was playing music. Horrible music. I tried to set up my cassette play to play some of my tapes but it has a French plug and the batteries are spent.

I am tempted to go to the shop in the hour which is open for self isolating people but since the text from the government ordering me to stay in I obey. Obviously food is or will be the biggest problem. I don't want to depend on other people because they need to limit outings outdoors. 
Trying to be independent I spent much of yesterday on line trying to order from Tesco's and Sainsbury's and Morrison's. Hopeless waste of time. So I resorted to asking Richard. Ruth, Richard's wife who works for the NHS offered to use the special slot allotted  to NHS workers, to get my shopping. 

 The stuffed cabbage leaves are great. I have eaten them for 2 days and put the rest in the freezer.

Government orders

I realise that the posts on this this blog seem disconnected but that is how life is at the moment. yesterday I received 2 messages on my mobile ordering me to stay at home.
I was planning to walk to the post box to post a birthday card  but now I cannot. 
I am feeling disappointed that I cannot get the new windows that I was planning and I wanted to throw out all the carpets which are really quite grubby. Never mind. Patience is a virtue as my mother frequently reminded me.
I am feeling at a loss today as I can't decide what to do. I don't want to watch TV until this evening. I don't want to spend too much time on this laptop. I already spend too much time on Facebook. I think I will go and cook something. 

My cherry tree in France- I wonder if it has flowered yet.

How I miss my French garden. even if there was absolutely no work to be done there I could always walk round it. walking slowly and observing every plant and assessing what work needed to be down too about 2 hours. I could sit in the greenhouse too to read my many gardening mags. and books and plan future projects.

Time on my hands or not

I do not understand why people fear isolation. Shortage of food and essentials of course I get it. I have just realised that I have a limited amount of washing powder. So now I am wondering how many days I should go without changing my clothes and bed sheets. But isolated from people in this age of telephones, mobiles, landlines, smartphones and Skype? 
Looking back I think the most difficult alone time for me was when my babies were both in nappies. It was a very cold winter. Going out was a problem with them and I obviously couldn't leave them alone. My husband left the house at 7.30 in the morning and returned at 7.00 in the evening and when he came home he watched TV til bedtime.
 I did read a lot. I was also a keen knitter. 


But I can vividly remember the need for conversation.

At that time we had no car, no telephone and the shops were a mile away up a hill.
HOWEVER The milkman came every day , the bread-man 3 times a week, the butcher 3 times a week and my groceries were delivered on Friday and green groceries were delivered on Saturday.
I know in this computer-driven age I could order on line but my arthritic fingers have trouble pressing the buttons. I make so many mistakes. My last delivery contained 2 enormous steaks and as I am a vegetarian I am sure I didn't order them intentionally. 
Yesterday  I did look on line to see if I could order some groceries only to find that no slot are available. 
I think what I am trying to say is that isolation for me is no problem. Lack of food is going to be.  
The fact is I have so many things I want to do I am not sure where to start. Writing this blog is one. As I have been writing it all morning I think i will change to a different activity. Cooking perhaps.

This is a my favourite recipe but I am usually too lazy to cook it. I hate cooking largely because I usually  prefer to be doing something else.  But given my circumstances I am going to do it today. You can see that it has been well used.

Continued isolation.

 I find my situation interesting. My feelings, ideas and activities change daily.
When I lived in France I was quite happy to be alone, in fact I often resented unexpected visitors. When I was writing and painting I hid my car behind a fence and trees. I hid myself upstairs and ignored  the knocks on the door. It was similar when I exchanged the painting and writing for gardening. 
At that time my life revolved around the garden. The garden became my life. It occupied all my thoughts and time. I couldn't wait to get out there each morning and I went to sleep reliving the day and planning tomorrow. If I went shopping I frequently returned with something for the garden. If I went out for pleasure it was to visit a garden centre or even better a public garden.

Forget-me-nots in full flower in the meditation garden 

Now here in this small town in a street, in a house with not even a yard at the front and a minute space behind there is so much time in each day. Even more, I have realised, so much more head space.
At first obviously I spent the first days and weeks arranging furniture and all my belongings of which I have too many.  But I am a hoarder and continue to arrange and rearrange "stuff" which perhaps I should throw away.  
As I have lived in this town in the past, in fact all my life until I moved to France I explored the green places I remembered. It was exciting to begin with. The most important in my memory was/ is  Bathpool.




When I was a teenager I spent days and evenings with my friends walking around the lake.  Sometimes when the weather was hot the lads used to swim in the lake. The girls were ordered to build a fire so that when they came out of the water  they could dry their clothes and get warm. 
My boyfriend, later my husband held my hand as we walked around the lake.
My son went fishing there. He camped over night and I took him food.  I walked the dog around the lake. When grandchildren 
arrived I took them too. Once I remember they paddled and played on the tiny beach. I think there is a photo somewhere. 

Things we do when we can't go out

I have just done what I said I would never do. Gone mad on line.
I have bought a robin, a frog solar fountain and a pair of gardening gloves.
It is dangerous being in isolation.

   

Isolation continued

I find so much to do but feel I am not getting everything done that is necessary. However I am getting on with the garden. I have planted all the coloured buckets. 2 blue, cornflowers, 2 orange, sun flowers and 2 lime green, snapdragons.  I bought them in Tesco. They had a bag of compost and a packet of seeds in each. They should flower in 16 weeks. I shall monitor the progress and take photos of the final . I have planted the 3 hanging baskets which I also bought from Tesco. They each had a bag of soil too and a packet of nasturtium seeds.
I plan to do more cooking than usual, at least more interesting meals. Yesterday I made beetroot soup. It wasn't as tasty as the last time I made it but edible. I had it yesterday and I filled 2 containers for the freezer and there is enough left for lunch today.
Well I am in self isolation. I prepared by buying food. BUT I forgot about the cats. No cat food left.
Are they dying of hunger or trying to eat books?
Is cheeky trying to phone for help?

                   

Keep on keeping on.

I went to French class and Mahjong this morning. Greatly depleted classes but I am glad I went. I shall go to the theatre and the hairdresser's tomorrow then I shall self  isolate until I need to buy food.
There is a beautiful display of daffodils in front of the Town Hall. I shall go and take a photo tomorrow morning.
I can't see a problem with the so called isolation when we have wall to wall TV and telephones and email and u-tube  and piles of books and magazines and fridges and freezers.
Perhaps it will make us more aware of the homeless. I can even look out of the window and watch my garden blossoming , the spring flowers greeting me daily.
Walking back home this morning I saw my first robin since I moved back to England. Then when I arrived home and looked out of the window I saw my first blue tit on the bird feeder. Up until today the only feeders I have seen have been huge pigeons.

Detox continued

So I managed to live without TV until 6ish yesterday but I did go to board games in the afternoon which helped.
Today I lapsed somewhat. I listened to the radio this morning but was sidetracked by Facebook. I think it is more toxic than the TV. I do like to keep in touch with friends but I am easily distracted by "interesting" articles.
I was looking forward to the writing group next Monday. It has been cancelled because of the virus. I found a short story written almost only in dialogue which I had written  some years ago. This was to be the task of the next meeting. The original version of my story wasn't only in dialogue. I found adjusting it was a fascinating exercise. I realised that perhaps much of the writing is unnecessary padding.

This photo is an indulgence. All my friends know that I am besotted with this man. The easiest relationship I have ever had. We never argue. Anyway he is here on this blog because next week's tournament which I have been looking forward to for weeks is also cancelled due to the virus. 

Drug Detoxing

Since I have been back in the UK I have been watching TV. Not just the odd programme, not just the News but every waking moment it has dominated my thoughts and feelings. I even taped whole swathes of news programs so as not to miss anything. I have Amazon Prime , ATP TV, BBC i player, ITV HUB and lord knows what else. I got hooked on certain series only to find that after series 3 I had to pay. Facebook has had me in its clutches too. Not only stealing my time but dominating my feelings, usually making me angry.
Today is a new day. I have rediscovered radio 4. so much more stimulating than TV.  Listening to dessert Island Discs I was really inspired and frustrated at the same time. Inspired to to continue wring and painting again but also frustrated. As I listened I was taking the dried washing from the radiators
Chris Riddell, illustrator, author and political cartoonist was today's guest. Everything he said I felt similarly. The meditative and therapeutic aspect of drawing and painting and writing.
However, I was pairing socks and folding jumpers and wondering if he ever did this. I was also feeling jealous of the life he'd lead living in so many countries and having the confidence to follow the desire and have the opportunities to be a professional writer and illustrator.
 So much more pertinent since I had planned to continue writing and illustrating on my return to the UK.