reminder

Yesterday I went to another marathon meal in the Salle de Fête. We started at 11.00 and at 5.00 when I left out of sheer boredom we still had not had coffee. This is just a short note to remind me to write more about this later.

Design

I am really pleased with my new design and now I must write more. I have been reading a lot lateley and think it should improve my writing. I have just read Vanda's short story comp 'The Lie'. I feel my writing falls short of the standard that this comp attracts. Must try harder!

time again

I bore myself talking about the lack of time and now I have the added problem of lack of energy. I have always suffered from tiredness. I read an article which called it TTAT=tired all the time syndrome. That felt about right for me. A lot of it in those days was psychological- holding down anger-suppressing real feelings-hating life. Sometimes that remains true but now I have the added problem of age/aging.
No matter what I do I always feel that I must hurry as either there is somethiong more pressing to do or that I will not have a successful day ie complete sufficient tasks to feel satisfied.

Senses

'Life is a tragedy to those who feel
and a comedy to those who think.' Philip Larkin
I know I feel too much. Life is a tragedy to me. I can never remember names of film stars or directors or authors or often even people I've met. But I remember how I felt when I was watching the film or reading the book or talking to a person.

Identity

I am sorting out my identity. At last! I am Jean Wild writer and Fleure Sauvage poet and photographer. Well that is today because I have been awake all night in an undecided state about everything so I have to think clearly and make some decisions. How can I do that if I don't know who I am? So this is my writing blog. I AM A WRITER.

Recent activity

I really must sort out this blog and get rid of those short stories. Today I have written an article for doesn't which if it doesn't get published, I shall turn into a short story. I also sent a letter to writers' forum about biogs and cvs as follows-- I started to prepare an article for a magazine. I read through the submission guidelines for the umpteenth time. ‘x no. of words plus a CV and brief biog’ How on earth can I write a brief biog? I am 70 and I haven’t written a CV since - well- let’s use a cliché - since Adam was a lad? What do they want, a record of my education? Remembering my school and college days brings forth a hazy mist. A list of career placements would be too long and boring for them as well as me. But I really wanted to submit the piece. So, to say I settled down in front of the computer would be lying. I forced myself to open a new document and began the impossible job of remembering parts of my life I had long forgotten and considered unimportant. At the first attempt I spent a couple of hours dragging through my past and decided it was taking too long and I would have to leave it for another day. After all a career of 55 years takes long enough to think about let alone write down. After the third attempt I decided that they really wouldn’t want to know all this stuff about me and anyway I thought why the writing can’t speak for itself. If it’s good enough it’s good enough, what does it matter where I went to school. But by then I became quite impressed with myself. I realised that although I probably wouldn’t send all these details of my life to the editor of said magazine, I had led an interesting life and had some successes. Now I shall submit my piece with more confidence but with a greatly edited version of my original CV and biography. So, my advice to writers who are facing a crisis of confidence is - Start a File. Record in it all the details of your life, education, courses, jobs successes and any achievement however small. Then whenever you are losing confidence run through all your successes to boost yourself image. And of course, whenever you need to provide ‘Brief biog and/or CV it’s there at the click of a button. Jean Wild, France