mercredi 27 décembre 2023

The Long Sleep

 

The Long Sleep Dialogue with Myself 268

I know I am not dreaming.

Are your sure?

Of course my eyes are wide open.

How do you feel?

I feel tired. I have been tired for a week haven't I?

Yes but you're not getting any better even though you have done absolutely nothing. You haven't washed or dressed for days.

Like I said I'm tired. I'll be better tomorow after a good night's sleep. Maybe one more day of rest will do the trick. I've cancelled all my meetings. Trying to decide things is tiring.

Maybe if you go to a meeting you will feel better,

Yes but then I would have to get dressed and that means deciding what to wear that's the problem and what if it's raining?

You could take a taxi.

That's not easy, sometimes when I ring they are busy and they put you on hold. A cup of tea would be nice. When did I last have a cup of tea? Is it nearly bedtime? Maybe I'll get dressed tomorrow.

What if you have visitors.

They always ring first. Where is my phone? Never mind if someone rings I'll hear it. I know I am not asleep and I am not dreaming. I am just so tired. I can hear singing.

Did the door just open? Did some one come in? Who's talking? I can hear singing.

AS the congregation sang the coffin slid forward and the curtains closed. Our exhausted character will now enjoy the endless sleep for which she had longed.



My Fig Tree

 

My Fig Tree

I have a great big fig tree,

Nothing does it bear,

Not a golden apple,

Or a silver pear.


I have a great big fig tree,

In Spring the buds appear.

Still no golden apple

Or a silver pear.


I have a great big fig tree,

In Summer leaves occur,

Still no golden apple,

Or a silver pear


I have a great big fig tree

Autumn hues bring cheer,

Still no golden apple,

Or a silver pear.


Now it's Winter- time,

Robins, blue tits, sparrows, come to visit me,

And all because of my great big fig tree.


Still no golden apple,

Or a silver pear.

And no fricking figs either.




jeudi 3 août 2023

 Moscow -there and back

Info- meet at Rugby Rail Station at 1.30 pm Bring enough sandwiches for the meals and a cup. Don't forget your cup.

We tried to get more information. For example we asked which route are we taking through Europe? Where are we going to cross the channel? We only received vague replies.

So we got on a coach at Rugby rail station with a sense of adventure, apprehension and sheer fear. We tried eaves dropping, we tried asking questions again for example, "When do we starting eating the sandwiches." We had just eaten at a motorway service station does that meal count as one of the four which are included in the cost. " Don't you worry about it. Have you fetched your cup?" I assumed fetched was Yorkshire for brought. "You'll be   alright then. I'll brew up when we stop then we can have breakfast in Germany." We were in London at the time. It was 4.30 pm so I asked what happens between now and then?"

"Which route do we take through--" "It's a bit complicated through Berlin.  Have you not been with Yorkshire Tours before."   No . "Oh you've a lot to learn then." Have you been to--- " no "You'll see it all."

Getting off the coach at 5.00 am in Germany the courier said" I slept like a log." He he had had the whole of the back seat of the coach to himself. We were squashed two to a seat with our bags. 

From East to West Berlin the Yorkshire sparcity with words continued. We went through many check points showing passports etc, then the coach stops suddenly. The driver says," OK. Get out. This is it." Now we have been on the coach for 2 days so to jump out of the coach in 2 minutes is expecting a lot. He then says, "Come on be quick. I'll get booked if I don't move." People are waking up, stuffing clothing into bags, rubbing bleary eyes and then falling off the coach. We muster in a group on the pavement and discover that we have left the coach for ever. We now have to carry our luggage to the train on which we will be travelling for 2/3  days to Moscow.  We follow the courier to the station like a pack of hounds. We don't speak the language, we don't know where we are or where we are going so it is important not to lose sight him. We go from Zoo station to Friedrickstatssa where we go through customs and immigration. We line up in alphabetical order so I am first. I go through a door, pass through a turnstile, then a barrier pass a guard/ soldier, not sure which. He was a man in uniform. Then yet another door. The other side of the last door proves to be East Berlin. Crowds of people are eagerly awaiting, every door opening. The person emerging could be a relative.

We stayed on Friedrickstrassa for 2 and a half hours. We didn't know why. Apparently we needed a group ticket which we learned as the courier rushed past us waving said ticket and shouting follow me. Still bleary eyed and slowed down by having to collect our bags we moved as quickly as we could up the stairs. Shouts of, "Some people are changing money. And whose bags are those? and where is the courier." Go up those stairs - no- not in there . Look there's the train to Oestranstrassa. Who is left behind? Get in the other carriage. We don't know where to get off. But she's still changing money. We have to get on. The train is moving. Stand in the door- the doors are closing. They are left behind. Do they know at which station to get off. He should do he's the courier.

We arrive in Oestranstrassa. We pile out like we are instructed by a German man to stand still. He gathers us together like sheep. He wants to impose himself on us as a guide. he manage to do this to some extent. We wait and the others arrive on the next train.

We follow Dereck. We are determined not to lose him now.. We realise how important this is but he has no intention of making it easy. Anyway we move along and descend some stairs then along a passage ways and then out into the street. We find the left luggage office. We wait again and messages come down the queue- it's full- it's closing. It will open again in half an hour.. The German guide tries to help but he can't speak English. He thinks if he speaks very clearly in German we will understand. A variation of English people speaking more loudly in English thinking that this somehow helps translation.

Our couriers finally get to the front of the queue. We go into the office and start dumping cases, bags and rucksacks on the counter. The man starts shouting. people stand around wondering what he wants us to do. We finally understand that he wants us to leave only suitcases. We move out with our hand luggage. The office closes at midnight. Also if you are not back before that you will miss the train we are told.

Dereck leaves.  Lawrence is now in charge. "Well I'll be back here by 11.00pm, we'll retrieve all the luggage together." That is the first coherent information that we have received from Yorkshire Tours. We take it and run or more accurately crawl. We have a few hours to explore East Berlin. We find a seat and rest our weary bodies and people watch.  There are many people rushing back and forth.  There is a huge building on our right which looks like a shopping complex. there are also a few market stalls nearby. WE try to buy a nylon shopping bag. It is 74 marks that's £15. It would be a fiver in UK. We walk away. 

We find a map. We decide to walk to the centre of Berlin to Karl Marx Plaza.. It is further than we thought and it takes us a long time. We see children in a play ground, men playing football, joggers, teenagers chatting in a park. There are many cars  All tiny and all the same.

We reach Karl Marx Plasa. It's enormous. There seems to be no coherent design. It's a mixture of old and new. It's mostly plain with flashes of glister.

 

There were fountains in a beer garden and shops. The café we ate in was like a works canteen but more solid, practical and very clean.. The menu was limited and the food was not very good. Whilst we were in there Lawrence appeared with a remarkable story. He had lost all the money he was carrying for the whole of company. He returned to the café where he had eaten and found that the tables had been cleared . He looked in a waste bin and found the soaking wet envelope with all our money. Yorkshire Tours ay.

We returned to the station in time to retrieve our luggage and found the correct platform at the station by midnight. We deciphered the timetable and found loos before the train arrived. Lawrence says four to a car sort your selves out. In carriage 10 we had 24 compartments in carriage 1 we had 20 compartments. There were four bunk beds in each compartment.

We shared with a young couple called Frank and Kate and we tumbled into bed for a good night's sleep. Door was flung open lights switched on, "passport", "passport", "passport" 5 times.

Earlier Lawrence had given us our visas for Poland and Moscow. "Don't give away part B whatever you do or you won't be able to get back. I can't remember whether it was the fifth or sixth soldier who demanded it but anyway he took the lot. Finally we went to sleep around 2.30 am.

Next morning, we wash dress and eat breakfast in the dining car. Scrambled eggs on black/white bread and tea. Back to the carriage and the opportunity to look through the window as we travel through East Germany and then Poland. All very flat. The monotonous view occasionally broken by a cow or a single tree. But it was a Polish tree or a Polish cow. Delicious tea was available constantly and served  from a samovar in glass cups by a Russian woman. At the Polish/Russian border more officials took our visas. We were interviewed by a succession of officials. Books every book was inspected, fruit, flowers, animals. My oranges were sliced. I was given a leaflet about pests. We were moved out of the compartment. Instructed not to move.  "Get back in " on official said to Phil as he attempted to go to the toilet. The courier Lawrence was taken away with all our passports. Then the train moved out off the station. Panic. What is happening now. 

They have to jack up the train, roll out the wheels and replace them with the narrower gauged ones because the gauge in Poland is different from the Russian gauge.   Lawrence returns with Passports. Now if you want to change money come with me. We walk along the rail track back to the station. Wishing we could speak the language. At the station we change money. Find toilets which were of the stirrup variety. We walk up and down the platform looking at the food and drinks for sale.  Bottles of mineral water, bread and cheese and thick slices of meat. We buy some anyway then walk back to the train. 

We discover by bush telegraph that we can have an evening meal which is paid for. So we all troup off to the dining car on the train. Ingrid one of our party attemps to explain vegetarianism. We are served tomatoes with fresh cream followed by 3 practically uncooked fried eggs in grease. We feel sick but do not want to be rude. We drink pleasant raspberry and cherry juice. Lawrence pays and  announces that we must leave the dining room. The waitress was not pleased about the leftovers. Lawrence brings us a mint or a chocolate to our carriage. We have no idea why?  It was the first meal of his life that Phil had left uneaten. Greasy uncooked eggs were too much for even him. 

Now the desire to sleep over comes the desire to look out of the window.

We gradually learn the details of the journey. Rumours filter down. Info is like Chinese whispers or secrets getting changed slightly or added to by each telling. We end up with a paranoid group.

A women gets out at Minsk to meet a friend from Liverpool University. 

I can't remember how many nights we spent on this train. The last night I slept badly knowing that we had to be up early the next day. Still once up I thought I'll be OK. I thought I would be able to sleep in the hotel.

5.00 am door opens stewardess says time to get up in Russian. We fall out of bunk and stand in line for the toilet. We learn it will be locked half an hour before arrival in Moscow.. I wash and dress and manage to get a cup of tea. Phil breaks two glasses. **** We are told to fold sheets etc. Frank and Kate continue to sleep The stewardess  comes in and puts the lights full on and insists that they get up. We manage to disembark , we are in  Moscow.


vendredi 7 juillet 2023

Spinning a Yarn The Tortoise Family

 The Tortoise Family.

 It was a small family consisting of Mother and Father and a teenager called Tommy. The  family I am about to tell you about  were very adventurous. They longed for a change as they had lived in England for a very long time. So after a family discussion it was decided that they would emigrate, emigrate to Australia.

They knew that this was a huge undertaking and that it would take them a very long time to get there. Of course the main reason it would take a long time was as you all know tortoises walk very slowly. The route that they were obliged to take was under the ocean. The family had discussed long and hard about the adventure and they decided that before embarking on this momentous journey they would need to go to a café to have a pot of tea.

Fortified by the tea they set off. They plodded on for years. Tommy complained frequently that it was taking too long but his parents jollied him along with images of the wonders of Australia and how it would all be worth it in the end. After three years Tommy complained bitterly and almost persuaded his parents that they should return to England. However his father explained that as they were half way there it would be foolish to turn back they might as well carry on with the journey. So they did.

When they arrived in Australia Mother tortoise said she was disparately in need of a cup of tea. So they found a cafe and ordered a pot of tea. Father poured out three cups and mother tortoise went to pay. 

"Oh my,oh my oh my", said Mother T. "I can't find my purse. I must have left it in the café in England. Tommy you will have to go back and get.  Please Tommy there's a good lad."

Tommy took a lot of persuading but he finally agreed on one condition. "OK, " he said, "I'll go if you promise me that you won't drink the tea till I get back."

Mother tortoise was reluctant at first but thought that it was really important to have her purse.

Tommy set off. Mother and Father thought about Tommy frequently. They realised that it was huge undertaking for the lad. They talked about him all the time.  "He'll be well on his way now," said Mother after three years. "Ay," 

"He'll be tired now", said the Father after seven years." But at least he'll be finding your purse Mother and soon be on his way back."

"I hope he won't be too tired on his return journey, " both parents frequently thought.

After 14 years the conversation went like this.

He'll be here today  - Father.

I am dying for this cuppa, but I am glad we waited cos I really need my purse.

Sure Tommy will be wanting his tea too.

The day drew on. He'll be here any minute now.

 Can't be long now it's getting late. Oh I am so thirsty.

Do think he will be here today.

I can't wait any long ", said mother lifting the cup to her lips.

"I KNEW YOU'D DO THAT SAID TOMMY APPEARING FROM BEHIND THE DOOR. SO I DIDN'T GO.


Spinning a Yarn The Moth

 The Moth

It all began on the day of my son's wedding. I received a phone call from my best friend Val. She was in tears. "What on earth is wrong," I asked. 

"You have to come." she said. "You won't believe me if you don't see for yourself." 

I went to her house in spite of the fact I was already in a panic about the wedding arrangements.

"Come in. Come upstairs you'll never believe it."

"So you keep saying what on earth is it?"

'It's your fur coat," she said. "I know I said it would be safe in my wardrobe but---"

"Has it been stolen, ? " I asked. 

"No, Look ," she said flinging open the wardrobe door."

"OK, I am looking. I can't see my coat.  I can see an empty hanger."

"Yes but look on the hanger.

'Oh my God, is that a giant moth.? I said. 

" I keep saying I'm sorry. I don't know what else I can do. It was so tasty and after the first nibble or two I couldn't stop." 

It was not only a giant moth but a talking giant moth.

"You mean you have eaten to whole damn coat?  That was for me to wear at my son's wedding."

If you can think of anything I can do to make it up to you. I'll do anything.

If you have eaten a whole coat you must be the best devourer of clothes ever. I don't suppose there are such things as moth eating competitions.

'Well yes there are but I have never entered one', said the moth. 

'Well you are damn well going to now'. I said. Now come along with me, 

So it began. There were monetary prizes for the winners. There was also a great deal of betting. My husband soon got into the whole moth eating comps after the first shock of learning what had happened to my fur coat. 

The first competitions were small, taking place in villages then towns and then counties.  We were getting quite rich. There was the all England one then the European championship.

Of cause when we heard about the World Cup we became very excited. The moth was getting fed up by now as money was no use  to him and he agreed to enter as long as we promised that it would be the last one. 

We had become very greedy too and my husband insisted as this would be the last one he mortgaged the house and put all the money on our moth to win. 

It was a three day competition. The first day was disappointing. Our moth just sat on the starting line saying he was tired but he would soon catch up. The second day was the same. No matter how much we pleaded saying that we would lose the house and all our savings.

The moth just remained on the starting line motionless. At the end of the third day  when all was lost my husband was raging and I was crying. We've lost everything. What are we going to do?

The moth looked up and fluttered a little and then he began crying, really crying and balling.

Have you ever-----------------


Spinning a Yarn Woolworth's

 Once upon a time

It was a dark and stormy night

Woolworth's

I am sure that you all recall when there was a Woolworth's in every town. Remember how they were all laid out the same. The counters were oblong enclosures with a server installed in the middle next to a till and surrounded by the goods. 

I was a Saturday girl in Tunstall when I was about 15 or 16. I had  a test which involved what one might call shopping sums. Most of it was easy but it ended with a long addition which I am sure I got wrong. I was never very good at mental arithmetic. 

After a time I was promoted to the sweet counter. I knew it was a promotion without a pay rise because the manager was very serious about what was expected of me. She ended her explanation with a warning. "If ever you are caught eating it will be instant dismissal," she said. This didn't stop the girl on the next counter from bending down and almost crawling unseen to steal a handful of salted peanuts which were also by the sweets and my domain.

One day in the school holidays when I wasn't working in Woolworth's I went shopping in Hanley. I needed some white socks for school and thought obviously the best place to buy them would be Woolworth's. I found the sock counter quickly and purchased just one pair of white ankle socks. They were to wear when I played tennis, otherwise we had to wear grey knee length socks. Can you imagine young teenagers of today wearing grey knee length woollen socks.

So I paid for the socks and was surprised that the girl behind the counter handed them to me with out a bag. You may remember that goods in bags in Woollies was proof of purchase. "I am sorry," she said. "But I haven't any bags left."

I thought it would be OK  and put them in my shopping bag, and didn't want to argue as I was in a rush to get the bus home so I walked very quickly almost running to the door which I supposed made me look suspicious. The floor walker stopped me at the door. I can't remember whether he was in uniform or not. I think not because I was surprised and not a little frighened of this burly man demanding to look in my shopping bag.

He took out the socks and accused me of stealing asking, "Why are they not in a bag." I was terrified but managed to  say that the girl on the sock counter had run out of bags.  He sort of frog marched me to the counter and  asked the girl on the counter if she had served me and why hadn't she put the socks in a bag. I saw immediately  that it was a different girl.

"Oh you are looking for June? Sorry she has just gone on her break."

"Come with me," said the man and almost dragged me up stairs and pushed me into an empty room saying, "Now wait in there. I'll sort this out." and he closed the door. I sat down and looked around at the bare walls. I felt like crying and then I felt angry. "I have done nothing wrong and he is treating me like a criminal." 

"I am not staying in here, " I thought so I jumped up and tried the door intending to leave but it was locked. I walked away from the door and noticed that there was a window. I tried the latch and guess what? It was unlocked. "Right," I thought, " I'll get out of here before he comes back." So I dragged the chair over to the window, stood on the chair pushed the window open wide climbed up onto the ledge leant over to look down thinking that this is easy when horror of horrors back comes the man, and would you believe it? He grabbed my leg and started to pull it. Just like I am pulling yours.


samedi 25 mars 2023

Plato's Cave

 

In and Out of Plato's Cave

IT'S IN THE NEWS

There's a war in Ukraine.

On the way to the shop,

Via the old railway line,

A squirrel runs in front of me,

Such fluidity.

IT'S IN THE NEWS

There's an earthquake in Turkey.

There's a black bird in my garden,

He pecks at the fat ball,

Then sits on the wall,

And sings me a song.

IT'S IN THE NEWS

There's a flood in Florida.

There are swans on the lake,

They're building a nest,

There'll be goslings in Summer.

Last year there were six.

IT'S IN THE NEWS

There are fires in Colorado

Promises of Spring in my garden

Purple crocuses peak out,

White hellebores already are showy,

Primroses never let me down.

IT'S IN THE NEWS

There's a war in Ukraine.

The cashier hands me my change,

Goodness what long fancy nails,

Each a different colour,

And so shiny with glitter.

IT'S IN THE NEWS

There's an earth quake in Turkey.

Summer now people in shorts,

Tatoos on legs, arms and faces,

Sandals show off toe rings,

I guess others in unseen places.

IT'S IN THE NEWS

Floods in India, biggest ever

Gas bill arrives, biggest ever

Turn off the boiler,

Hot water bottles filled,

Two for me and one for the cat.

IT'S IN THE NEWS

More fires in Colorado.

There's a queue at the bank.

Out into the street,

Cash point is empty,

Can I pay on line?


IT'S IN THE NEWS

Floods on the South Coast, Wales too,

Caravans and campsites no longer exist.

Staffordshire Moorlands is ablaze again,

Woodlands aflame it's a terrible shame,

The Covid pandemic is still here.

IT'S IN THE NEWS

There's a war in Ukraine and Earthquakes in Turkey.

Floods and fires are every where.

The goslings have hatched, I counted six today.