The computer speaks

 The computer speaks

January 2nd 2024 8.53

Happy New Year to you my dear computer user. Why don't I call you by your name you ask? Which name would that be? Your non-de-plume? Your Facebook name? Your college name? Yes I do know your 'real' name but from now on I shall call you computer user. I should really call you computer abuser.

So let's start this new year with a few home truths. First of all it's not my fault if you forget what date it is. Open your eyes and read it. It's at the bottom left of the screen in big letters when you open me. Secondly it's not my fault if you can't find the story you wrote yesterday, or the piece you wrote for the writing group, or the new post you wanted to put on Facebook, or the new stuff for your blog. Furthermore it's not my fault if you can't even find your blogs.

The problem my dear computer abuser is that you do not remember where you have saved things. You are not consistent. Oh yes I know you try. You even bought a new computer just for writing. How did that turn out hey? An even bigger muddle.

Now just to get some things straight. You have been told this before by your grandson and your son. What is the common denominator of all your 'so called computer difficulties'? You. Yes, you. I suggest you make an effort to save things correctly. Keep a note book and write down for example: Date-Title-Place . So what are you going to do now and I do mean now, this minute. It's like the pandemic -face –space -safe -something or was it -mask?

-flask -task , no that's wrong. I don't know it wasn't me who could get the virus. Yes yes I could get a virus, a computer virus but I have anti-virus protection unfortunately it does not not protect me from abusers like you. I know what you did with your first computer. How do I know? Because you have written about it numerous times; on Facebook, in your blogs and in emails as though it was something to be proud of. Oh that leads me to another thing. Why oh why don't you record email addresses in the email address book that I have provided for you.

When you find that my battery is flat whose fault would that be?

Yours in frustration,

Your long suffering computer.

PS Where are you going to save this?