Brazil Part 7

 Halfway back along the 100 kilometres which was mostly unmade dirt roads we stopped at a big shop/shop.  It was like a John Lewis. We were all looking at some items on display when J walked in front of me and turned her back on me and began talking to the others. So I walked away and picked up a pair of boots. "Ah, super, super ,"cried J. She took them from me and said, " They haven't got your size."

When we arrived back from our shopping trip she announced that we were going to her other sister's for a meal. I think it was the rich sister's. We had been there on Tuesday for lunch when I was allowed to swim in the pool of the next door neighbour. The house was owned by a French friend and was empty for eleven moths of the year.

I was thrilled to visit the house and garden of this sister who lives with an successful  artist.  She showed us around the house and garden as though it were an art gallery devoted to his work. Which it was. I admired his work but thought that mine was just as good.. I can't I be more confident in my work. She too us around as though she was the curator or a gallery or an agent at an exhibition. What a lucky man to have a partner like that. He cooked lunch and everyone hummed and hahed as though it was cordon bleu. It was toasted sandwiches followed by strawberries and cream which he neither grew nor served. I bought two small paintings for the techniques and also to remind me that I can do just as well. Thirdly to remind me of Jasper who had recently died in France.

So after an exhausting day I feel like shit and say if we are going out I must rest first. I fall fast asleep. I decide it would be madness to go out. I tell her mother that I am ill and I want to stay in bed. J comes at 8.00 and looks hot and bothered. She is stupidly wearing one of the sweaters that she bought today even though the temperature must be at least 25 degrees. I tell her that I am not going because I am ill. She tuts and walks off.

I know I have made the right decision even more so when I read in DR that repressing feelings causes stress which causes the immune system to be supressed. Also is feeling powerless to change ones situation.

I decide to put my health first by recognising my feelings and doing what I can to improve each day. I can't fly back to France  but I can escape from J and her family.

On Friday I still feel tired but walk to try to find an Internet Cafe and a chemist. I see a building which looks like an Internet Cafe and walk in.  I ask the person who seems to be on the reception desk if it would be possible to use the internet. I was welcomed with open arms because I am English because it is in fact it is a school for the teaching of English. They tell me I can use the internet whenever I want to. I was invited to visit the classrooms to talk to the children. As I had my video camera with me I videoed  the children asking questions. I also filmed them singing Head, shoulders, knees and Toes.

I left the school and found a chemist and bought pills for my cold. I return but stop for a delicious hot chocolate on the way.

I thought that the evening plan was for us to get our nails done. We have spent a lot of time doing this as nail bars are "ten a penny".   But the plans have changed and I hadn't been told. Juliana who speaks English and I ask her to explain how sorry I was to miss the dinner party last evening and I really wanted to go but I felt very ill. 

" Why don't you tell her yourself she is going to be there at lunch at J's friend's. Again I hadn't been told.

"I thought we were having our nails done," I say. " No , we are having our nails done after the lunch party."

i know that will not have time to  but say nothing. We go to lunch. First of all I asked J if I should get changed I was wearing shorts and a tee-shirt. " Pease your self." she said and walked away. Fortunately I decided to change. This time we walk. I wasn't told but J. just walked off expecting me to follow. This time it is in a very posh house.