CHAPTER
THREE
The
Empty House and the Girls
She opened the door and felt a
strange silence, an emptiness that had never been there before. She was
surprised that she didn’t feel afraid. Why would she, the house was empty and
Frank was safe in hospital. He was safe, safely in a coma which meant that she
was safe. Safe from him.
She walked around as though it was the first time she’d been there. Like a
would-be purchaser viewing a house to buy. She automatically filled the kettle
and switched it on thinking that she fancied a cup of tea. She went upstairs
while it was heating. She looked in the bathroom first. There was a towel on
the floor and she picked it up and arranged it on the radiator to dry. She
noticed that it was warm in spite of the fact that no one had been in the house
for two days.
‘What a bloody waste,’ Frank would have said, ‘It should have been switched
off. Why didn’t you switch it off?’
‘Because you are in a bloody coma,’ she screamed out loud. She turned to go
into the bedroom. She had to steel herself for this. It was the scene of most
of her suffering. Why should she want to go there voluntarily.
‘Because you are not here?’ she said again out loud.
What ever is wrong with me. I am in my own house, my pig of a husband is in
hospital in a coma and I’m creeping about like - like a mouse.
She didn’t go into the bedroom. Instead she ran downstairs to the now boiling
kettle to make herself a cup of tea. She heard Frank saying, ‘That damn kettle
nearly boiled dry you stupid bitch.’ She almost felt the crack across the face
he would have given her.
I am mad she thought. He’s not even here and yet he is. He is here. He is in
every room, in every inch of the damned house.
She made the drink and sat down in an armchair in the living room to think.
Except she couldn’t think. She started to shake. She forced herself to drink
her tea. She had to hold the cup in both hands to stop it from spilling and all
the time Frank’s voice was ordering her, commenting on everything she was
doing, telling her what to do, what not to do, telling her how stupid she was.
Suddenly she shouted at the top of her voice, ‘Stop it, stop it, stop it.’ she
put her hands over her ears. ‘You are driving me insane.’
‘You are insane,’ said Frank. ‘Mad as a hatter, I’ve told you before and stupid
with it.’
‘No, no, no,’ I am not insane and you are not even here and you can’t hurt me
anymore and, and ----’.
Dring, dring. She leapt to her feet as the phone shocked her out of her
hysterical state.
‘Hello,’ she whispered.
‘Are you ok? I thought I’d just check to see if you are alright,’ said Val.
‘Er, er you made me jump, the phone, the ringing, made me jump.’
‘Also I rang to say, why don’t you ring the girls. I know they probably don’t
want to see their father but think about yourself. Wouldn’t they want to come
and support you? Or maybe you could visit one of them. After all we still have
a few days of the Xmas holidays left.’
‘Oh dear yes, yes the girls. I haven’t even rung them. I should tell them
what’s happened. How selfish of me just thinking about myself.’
‘Sarah will you stop. You haven’t got a selfish bone in your body. For god’s
sake woman get a grip and think about yourself for once.’
‘I’ll ring them now. Thanks Val, thanks for ringing.’
Thinking about her daughters calmed her. She could concentrate on doing
something positive and useful. Yes it was the right thing to do. She knew her
daughter‘s numbers by heart even though she rarely rang them because she didn’t
like to intrude into their lives too much with her problems. But Frank
was their father and they should be told what had happened.
Kate first she thought. Kate the married one. Rachael had been so pleased when
she’d married Roger. Now they were living in Chamonix where they hosted
skiers in the Winter and walkers in the Summer in their six-bed-roomed chalet.
The chalet was situated at the very end of the valley and had incredible views
of Mont Blanc. They made a good team. Kate was twenty-five and very beautiful.
Sport was her passion. Skiing, climbing, surfing, she excelled at them all. So
when she had met Roger they had attracted each other like magnets. She enjoyed
the luxury of being able to wear sleek but not too sexy dresses for the dining
room in the evening after her day on the piste or hiking over the mountains.
Her hair framed her face before it tumbled around her shoulders and down her
back almost to her waist. And Roger, well Roger would look handsome in overalls
with his craggy jaw and wide-open, look straight at you and into you, eyes. At
thirty he looked very mature and capable with his Winter tan. He discarded his ski-suit for the evening meal dressed in a waiter’s uniform when
he wowed the female guests with his ready wit and charm, .
‘Hello, Valley’s End Ski Lodge.
‘I’m really sorry to bother you at such a busy time. I know you must ----,’
‘Mum, mum, is it you? What are you talking about? I am always happy to hear
your voice but if you are ringing me there must be something wrong. What is
it?’
‘If you are sure with New Year and everything in the hotel?’
‘No, yes. What’s wrong for goodness sake?’
‘It’s your father he’s ---’
‘What’s he done now, I tell you I’ll swing for him one day.’
‘That’s not nice Kate, he’s done nothing, well, he has done something, it’s
just that he’s in hospital.’
‘Had a heart attack with all that eating and drinking and smoking I suppose?’
‘No Kate listen let me tell you. He’s in a coma.’
‘A coma? A coma? What, how?’
‘He was playing football and -’
‘No stop right there. He was what?’
‘Playing football and-’
‘That’s what I thought you said -’
‘I was wondering if you could--- Val suggested that you might --’
‘Might what, like to come and finish him off?’
‘No, might feel you could spare a day or two to help me through this.’
‘I am sorry Mum. I shouldn’t joke with you about him. Of course I’ll get the
first flight over. Maybe you could pick me up at the airport. Or I could hire a
car. I’ll text you the times.’
‘Of course I’ll meet you at the airport. No need to hire a car.’
‘Text you soon. Love you mum’.
Sarah felt so much steadier after the call. Frank’s voice had disappeared. It
was almost as if the sound of Kate’s voice on the phone had scared him away. He
had always been fond of the girls but also afraid of them. They had both
succeeded and he felt a failure in their presence. He covered up his shame with
his violent aggression. He was never physically violent towards either of them
but his words were so forceful that they felt like blows. He had been worse
with Kate after she met and married Roger. Sarah put it down to male pride and competition.
She tried to boost him with flattery but he wasn’t stupid. He knew that Roger
made a better husband for Kate than he had ever been to Sarah.
Lizzie was a different matter. They had been so close before she went to the
Grammar School. She had been a proper little Daddy’s girl. It was as though he
couldn’t have a clever daughter. Her intelligence frightened him. He thought
she could make him look stupid in front of other people. At school his forte
had been on the sports field not in the classroom where he had felt a fool. So
he had put all his energy into entering and winning every sport that he could
pack in. He could do anything out there. But inside it was all that reading
that defeated him. He had heard recently about dyslexia but had dismissed it as
being too late for him.
Lizzie never understood his changed attitude towards her. She was aware of his
treatment of her mother and couldn’t understand why she stayed. She determined
early on that she would leave even if her mother could put up with his
nastiness she wasn’t going to. She trained as a teacher and taught for two
years in London. Then she gave up teaching and took a job at London University
in the Publishing department. Sarah
could visit as often as she liked but she didn’t want to see him again,
ever. Now about to embark on her second year at the university she had kept her
word.
‘Happy New Year Lizzie.’
‘Mum, mum is it you? Where’s the Ogre? What a surprise? It’s lovely to here
your voice. Oh no, is something wrong, something’s wrong, what’s wrong?’
‘No, well yes, don’t panic. Listen. It’s your- it’s Frank he’s in hospital in a
coma. It’s a bit complicated but I’ve just rung Kate and she’s coming on the
first available flight and I just rang to tell you.’
‘I can come too. I haven’t seen Kate for ages. I’ll get the train. I’ll ring
you from the station to tell you what time I’ll be arriving. Don’t worry Mum
we’ll both soon be there. Love you.’
Sarah felt a kind of glow creep into her body. She smiled. It was pleasure. She
actually felt pleasure sitting in this room where normally the only feeling she
had was fear. Her shoulders dropped and she leaned back in the armchair and
pulled the lever at the side to raise the footrest. Her daughters both her
daughters were going to come home. Yes home, for a visit.
She dialled a third number, ‘Hi Val, you’ll never guess, they are both coming
tomorrow Kate by train and Lizzie by plane if she can get a flight and I can’
believe it.’
‘So you rang them. Good for you. Now let them help you.’
‘They have helped already. Just knowing that they are coming helps.’
Sarah walked about the house still in a daze but this time with a happy glow.
It was strange to feel like this after all those years of fear. She stood
drinking her tea looking out of the dining room window which over-looked the
garden in which she managed to grow a few flowers. That was something else she
could do if he wasn’t around. Already his voice had faded to a whisper and his
presence to a shadow. As she thought of the girls’ arrival she felt a flutter
of excitement.
Realising she had been wearing the same clothes for two days or was it three
she took a shower. A lovely long shower. She chased away his voice which was
saying, ‘Hurry up. You are wasting all the hot water.’ She walked from the
bathroom to the bedroom naked knowing that his shadow couldn’t grab her and --.
Well he could do nothing because he was in the hospital in a coma.
She sat on the bed. Yes your husband’s in a coma and you are dancing around as
though he’s out at the pub. Come on now don’t slip back the girls are coming.
The girls. She threw on a dressing gown and ran downstairs to look at her
mobile to see if they had left messages about arrival times. Yes, they would
arrive within an hour of each other. She could pick up Lizzie at the station
and they could go together to the meet Kate at the airport.
When Sarah arrived at the station she suddenly felt hungry. Realising that she
hadn’t eaten since breakfast she went to the cafeteria on the station and
bought a bar of chocolate and a cup of tea. Frank’s voice was silenced when it
tried to tell her that it was a waste of money because railway food was too
expensive and rubbish into the bargain. She chose a seat where she could she
the indicator board.
The train was on time. Lizzie and Sarah went to meet Kate at the airport and
when they were all installed in Sarah’s car Lizzie said, ‘Gosh I’m starving
let’s go for a meal before we go to the house.’
‘But don’t you think we should go to the hospital first. After all he is your
dad and
he is in a coma.’
‘No,’ said Kate. ‘Lizzie’s right. I’m starving too. I have come to see you not
him.
Let’s go to that place in Congleton. And we should have a bottle of wine too.’
‘Champagne would be more like it. How long is it since we have all been
together like this without him?’
‘Champagne? Really? Isn’t it very expensive?’
‘Only joking Mum but you sound like Dad worrying and criticising everything.
Lighten up.’
They went to the restaurant and enjoyed their meal and the bottle of wine. By
the end of it Frank’s voice had gone and Sarah was laughing as loud as the
girls. They both had tales to tell. Lizzie about the university and Kate about
customers in the hotel.
They were reluctant to leave but they couldn’t put off the inevitable so they
paid up and left for ‘home’. They were quiet and thoughtful on the journey.
Sarah made a last request for them to go to the hospital saying that it didn’t
matter if it was after normal visiting hours because of the seriousness of his condition.
The girls refused but promised that if she really insisted they would go
tomorrow.
Entering the house with the girls Sarah was less afraid but there was just a
tiny quiver of fear in her stomach. She told herself it was stupid and left all
thoughts of Frank outside. It certainly felt different with all of them there.
She’d left the heating on so that it would have a welcoming warmth something he
would have frowned upon.
‘I’ll put the kettle on. I expect we could all do with a nice cup of tea.’
‘Yes it’s funny. No matter how much you’ve had to eat and drink when you eat
out you always want a cup of tea when you get home.’
As they sat drinking their tea Lizzie said, ‘We really will come with you to
the hospital tomorrow Mum.’
‘Of course we will. Anyway I’d quite like to see the old bugger helpless,’ said
Kate.
They all laughed, even Sarah, in spite of herself. She hid her guilt well.
‘Come on then off to bed. I made up your beds in your old rooms before I left
to pick you up. And do you no what? Neither of you have asked how it happened.’
‘We both assumed it was some kind of stroke,’ said Lizzie
‘Yes, what with all that junk food and the forty a day,’ said Kate.
‘And all that weight. So if it wasn’t a stroke what was it?’
‘I don’t think you’d believe me even if I told you tonight. You’ve waited this
long you can wait ‘til morning. You two go off to bed. I’ll be up soon.’
Sarah closed the door so that the girls wouldn’t hear her and she rang
the hospital. It was more out of guilt than anything else. The fact was, she
only wanted to hear that he hadn’t wakened up. She was relieved to hear that he
hadn’t. Ok then maybe I can try sleeping in our bed. I have to make it my bed
at least until he comes back or until I leave. Did I really say that? Did I
really think it?
She stood up to go to bed when she noticed the message light flashing on the
telephone. Why hadn’t she noticed it before? Somebody must have rung while she
was calling the hospital. It was Dave.
‘Hey, Sarah. You’ve got to come over tomorrow morning first thing. We have
something very interesting to show you. And bring the girls. We’ve got a film
of Frank in action. Don’t forget. First thing. Night, night.’
Sarah was too tired to ring back to ask what he’d meant although she was puzzled.
Instead she climbed gingerly into bed and curled up knees to chin as though she
was defending herself from something, but soon she stretched out and felt the
luxury of having a whole king size bed to herself. Then she snuggled up to
wonder what Dave had meant but not for long. She was asleep in seconds.
The next morning Rachael couldn’t understand why Frank wasn’t in bed. He never
got up first. He always made her get up to bring him tea in bed. The puzzle
only lasted a few seconds. It all flooded back to the match, the hospital, the
girls. The girls, of course the girls were here. She sat up thinking that she
would make them a cup of tea as the door opened. In came Kate with a breakfast
tray.
‘Good morning, Mum, did you sleep?’
‘Like a log. Although it does seem strange being in bed alone.’
‘You’ll soon get used to it.’
‘I’ve made coffee and toast and there is marmalade if you want it.’
‘I don’t think I’ve ever had breakfast in bed before. It was taboo according to
my mother - because of the crumbs you know. And of course Frank - your Dad-’
‘Don’t talk about him now you’ll spoil your appetite. We’ve promised to go with
you to the hospital later if you still want to. Now forget him and enjoy your
breakfast in bed.’
‘I picked up a message last night from Dave something about a film and we must
go round there to see it first thing today.’
Lizzie came in with a cup of coffee and sat down at Sarah’s bedside. She
stretched and yawned, ‘What’s this? We’ve got to go out straight away, this
morning? Can’t we enjoy a lazy start? We are on holiday.’
‘I’ll go and ring Dave while you to luxuriate,’ said Kate.
Minutes later she returned saying, ‘All sorted. We have been invited for lunch.
Val is going to feed us but we have to watch the film first. It’s very short.
But he wouldn’t tell me what it was. We are not expected ‘til twelve o’clock so
I’ll make some more coffee and you can stay in bed Mum and we’ll sit here and
talk your ears off.’
‘Yes and we can each take a lovely long shower. Hush Mum. Dad’s not here to
moan about it.’
At twelve on the dot the three arrived at Val and Dave’s new semi in Grey’s
Close. It had been a house that was always welcoming. Normally full of Val’s
three lively boys from her first marriage and her daughter and son from her
second marriage. Now they had all left home to marry or to go to University or
both. So it was Dave who opened the door.
The preliminaries over, Dave said, ‘It’s all set up in the living room.’
‘Why all the mystery?’ said Lizzie.
‘Come on let’s just watch,’ said Kate.
Dave switched on the TV. Immediately the action began.
They all sat in stunned silence as they watched the events of that New Year’s
Day Charity Match.
They saw the goalkeeper fall down. They watched their father run to his car to get
his strip. They saw him save the goals with his stomach. They heard the crowd’s
cheers and jeers. They saw the spectacular save followed by Frank’s equally
spectacular collision with the goalpost and collapse to the ground. Even the
attempts of the St John’s ambulance men with their magic sponge were all
captured. Then the final scene of Frank being lifted onto a stretcher and
loaded into the ambulance followed by Sarah.
‘So that’s what happened. I thought he’d had a heart attack,’ said Kate.
‘Me too,’ said Lizzie.
Sarah said nothing at first. Then finally she said, ‘Where on earth did you get
this from?’
‘Do you remember I rang the hospital and the nurse said that there had been a
reporter in the hospital asking questions about Frank. He had been at the match
and come to the hospital to find out how he was. I was puzzled myself so I
contacted the local newspaper and they told me that he had gone back to the
match to find all the people there who had video cameras. There always are
people with cameras at football matches. He not only tracked them down but he
got them to the Midlands TV studio and the whole thing was on as a news item
and I taped it.’
‘So all the world and his dog will have watched it. Oh my God Frank will go
crazy when he comes round. Just think everybody will have seen how stupid he
looked.’
‘Don’t be silly Mum he’ll think that everybody will have seen his terrific
save.’
‘’Cause he will mum, can’t you see? He saved all those goals. I want to watch
it again,’ said Lizzie.
They all burst out laughing.
Dave rewound and replayed the tape. This time they were not silent. They
pointed and joked and screamed with laughter.
‘Look at him. His shorts are too small.’
‘What about that shirt? It barely reaches his waist.’
‘Oooh, that must have hurt.’
‘You’ve got to admit, he gave it his best shot.’
‘I thought that was the striker.’
‘But look Frank saved it, and he doesn’t even know.’
‘You can‘t deny, it is funny. I mean it should be on one of those programmes.
You know the one where in the clips everybody falls down.’
‘I bet it’s already on u-tube. Have you looked Dave?’
‘Not yet but I guess you are right, it is hilarious.’
‘Stop it. All of you. Have you forgotten that he is still unconscious? There he
is lying in a coma and you are all laughing about him,’ said Sarah.
Then she choked and put her hand over her mouth, ‘Well that bit when he saved
the goals on his stomach. It was like a ball bouncing off a ball.’ She too
collapsed with laughter.
‘Lunch is served,’ said Val peering round the door, ‘unless you want to watch
it again.’
‘No thanks, let’s eat I don’t think I could stand it. I might die laughing,’
said Lizzie.
‘Besides we have to fortify ourselves to go and see him this afternoon.’
‘Well at least we can honestly say, ‘Our dad’s on tele’, said Lizzie.
They entered the hospital altogether in a very different mood. As they passed
the Emergency Entrance Sarah noticed an ambulance, a stretcher being withdrawn
bearing a male patient. Was it only two days ago that she had accompanied Frank
like that? It felt like a life time ago. Now with a daughter on either side of
her she felt happy and guilty, guilty that she felt happy.
‘Can you remember the ward number Mum?’ asked Kate.
‘Yes but we should check at the desk just to ask if we can all three go in.’
Just then the nurse who had been on duty when Frank was admitted appeared.
‘Mrs Wright isn’t it? Are these your daughters? I am so pleased that you have
support. I was quite concerned about you when your husband was admitted. You really
were in shock.’
‘I was but I am much better now. How is my husband?’
‘I am sorry Mrs Wright no change I’m afraid. You all go along to the ward now
and I’ll let Dr Romanski know you are here. I think he wants to talk to you.’They entered the ward silently and stood staring at this man who was their
father and husband. This man whom they had loved and hated and of whom they were
afraid. They stared at the tubes which entered him and the monitors which
surrounded him. They stared at the mound under the sheet which rose and fell
with regularity in time with the flickering lines on one of the screens. The
only sound was the soft in and out of this automated breathing and the clicking
of the machines.
Kate broke the silence and whispered, ‘It’s like science fiction. You know when
the evil scientist creates a monster in his basement. He is lying there
helpless now but when Dr Evil twiddles the knobs on his machine he will rise up
and obey his commands.’
Lizzie choked with laughter but Sarah could imagine such a scene and she
thought that Kate had described what could happen all to well. She felt quite
faint at the thought and sat down as far from the bed as she could.
‘How can you talk like that about your father?’
‘I am sorry Mum but you must admit that there is something weird about this
situation.’
‘Well I for one am not sorry to see him helpless,’ said Lizzie. ‘Come on Mum
you must admit that he can’t hurt you while he’s in a coma. You must feel
better and you can’t feel sorry for him. He’s not even in pain. He ought to be
after all the pain he’s caused you.’
‘Ah, Mrs Wright. Good afternoon,’ said Dr Romanski who had entered the room
silently. His words made all three of them jump. Lizzie had to cover her mouth
with her hankie because she immediately imagined him fitting into the story
they had just created as the mad scientist. His appearance contributed to the
image. He was small and bent slightly forward. He had wild grey hair and
rimless glasses which he wore on the end of his nose. He peered over them when
he spoke again.
‘I hope you have recovered a little from the shock. I do want to talk to you
about your husband. Would you like us to go somewhere private?’
‘These are my daughters doctor, Mr Wright is their father. I would like them to
hear what you have to say.’
‘I think the nurse told you that we can never be certain when or even if a
person in a coma will regain consciousness.’
‘Yes she did. But is there anything we - I can do. Shall we talk to him. Should
I stay with him in case he --’
‘I will be perfectly honest with you, Mrs Wright. The truth is we don’t know
whether a person in a coma is aware of anything outside of their body or even
inside for that matter.’
‘We can hope for the best which would be a quick return to consciousness with
no harmful results and to prepare for the worst.’
‘And the worst would be?’ asked Kate who was always needed to have all the
facts.
‘The worst would be a long period in a coma and a return to consciousness with
diminished faculties.’
‘You mean he could be brain damaged?’ said Sarah.
He’s already that said Lizzie to herself but to the doctor, ‘What about
physically?’
‘Since there is so much unknown and it doesn’t help to dwell on the might bes
and what ifs. I advise you to look after yourself Mrs Wright. You mustn’t wear
yourself out with bedside vigils. Carry on with your life as best you can. Get
plenty of rest and eat well because it could be weeks or months.’
‘You mean I should just go home and forget that my husband is here in a coma
and I should just pretend that he doesn’t exist?’
‘Not at all Mrs. Wright. You may telephone everyday if you wish. You may visit
as often as you like and we have your telephone number and will surely ring if
there is any change at all however small but you must also take care of
yourself. We do not want you to become a patient as well.’
He went to the door and as he left a nurse came in and began to check all the
equipment.
‘Can you girls take care of your mother. We often find that the carer needs to be
cared for too.’
‘They have there own lives and Kate lives in France and Lizzie in London. I am
sure I can manage to look after myself.’
‘Then you must have friends to support you Mrs Wright and believe me when I say
that your husband is not in pain.’
Again Lizzie muttered to herself that he ought to be.
The nurse left and Kate said, ‘Come on Mum let’s go home. We are wasting our
time together here. He doesn’t even know that we are here. And let’s be honest
he wouldn’t care if he did.’
The three of them enjoyed dining out and playing scrabble in what had returned
to being the family home. Sarah couldn’t remember the last time that she had
felt that it was really her home. Her daughters were so precious to her and
this time together made her realise that it was Frank who had denied her all
this.
